When she wants to travel without you

Let me tell you a little about myself, I have two nephews, Chad and Mike. Chad is in the army and used to be a beta bitch putting up with everything his girlfriend did. They decided to live together, signed a lease together and moved in one day before he was deployed to Afghanistan.

When he was there she started acting strange, being online on whatsapp for hours on end but replying to his messages at least 10 minutes after he sent it. He was over there so what could he do, right?

When he got back after about a year, his girlfriend picked him up from the airport at 5pm. They drove home, he was insanely tired. 7Pm she says “Chad we have to talk”. She continues “I’m breaking up with you”. His heart was broken, he wanted her back so badly but I gave him some advice (drop all her shit at her parents, get the lease in your name, never look back”) and he took it. This is about 1.5 years ago and now he understands women, he understands game, he’s happier than he’s ever been and he’s the best wingman I can have when going out.

Now my other nephew, Mike, man I don’t even know where to start. He’s the king of betas. His girlfriend is a HB2 on a good day, it’s his first love. She nags him constantly. She puts him down in front of family and friends, constantly! They’ve been together for 4 years now, and when Chad just got his heart broken 1.5 years ago, he saw her with some other dude while he was out jogging. So he called Mike, like a good bro does. Turned out she had installed Tinder, and was out on a date. Did he dump her? Ofcourse not. Did he still trust her? Ofcourse. Did he take my advice? No.

Another beta bitch

Fast forward to last year. Mike and his girlfriend are just out having dinner when she drops a bomb. “I’m going to BBC country for 5 months as a volunteer working with children. Lisa is going too”. Lisa is her best friend. It was an announcement, he had no choice, she already made up her mind. Being the king of betas, he acted like it was no problem but he invited Chad and me over for a couple of beers.

When we heard about it Chad and I looked at eachother, looked at Mike, and at the same said “She’s gonna cheat bro”. But he wasn’t having it, he trusted her, they are eachother’s first loves. They even talked about living together and having children. “Talk is cheap, look at her actions” I said while I took another sip of my beer, knowing I could just as well talk to a deaf man. “She already showed you can’t trust her when she installed Tinder AND went on a date, you should’ve ended it right there” Chad said, shaking his head in disbelief.

So let’s sum up the story up to this point. Mike accepts anything his girlfriend does, while she has zero respect for him. Many relationships are like this, many men feel like they should accept anything from their women just to keep her happy, but she will lose respect for you. If she nags you constantly, she had no respect for you. If she puts you down, it’s a major sign of disrespect. If she installs Tinder and goes on a date? It shouldn’t even come that far, all respect is gone at that point. You could as well be some random guy walking past her on the street. She’s already checked out of the relationship.

Now it’s 2016, Mike’s girlfriend left in early February. Within a week pictures start showing up on facebook, many pictures, and they’re all of her and Lisa having a good time going out, partying. This goes on for about 3 months, not once do we see the children she went to work with. She goes out to party at least 4 nights a week. Chad and I talk almost daily and we regularly discuss how this is going to end, Mike has a good heart, and we love him a lot, but he’s being used hard.

Around mid May we’re having a party with the family, BBQ, beer, you know how it is. Everyone is there. I’m talking to Chad when we realize we haven’t seen Mike in about 30 minutes. We start looking for him and find him upstairs, tears in his eyes, trying to man-up when he sees us. “She cheated on me” he said, his hands are shaking. We take him out for a walk to get some air, and hear him out. “She kissed some dude, and she liked it. She’s asking to be free for the remaining two months”. Now when you hear this, it’s time for some tough love and we straight up told him “She fucked some dude, and she wants to continue fucking other dudes for the remaining two months while having you as a backup for when she gets back”.

He sort-of took our advice and broke up with her, finally. But he still texted her multiple times a day, and she was acting like a total bitch to him. Even her own mother texted Mike saying he should just dump her and find someone else because she wasn’t going to change. But he continued texting her, and taking her insults. I wonder if being treated like shit is his fetish, it might.

You probably know how this ends. She got back about 3 weeks ago and they’re already back together but she has to proof to him that she loves him. Which she will for the next 2-3 months, than it starts going downhill again, it always does.

This turned out longer then I expected but the point is, if your girl/wife wants to travel without you there is almost always a deeper reason behind it. I’m not talking about a weekend to her parents, or a trip to some non-party place with her friend(s), or anything booked before you met. But if she wants to travel to party destinations, debauchery destinations or travel months on end without you while being in a serious relationship, something is wrong in your relationship and you can count on her getting some strange D.

So should you forbid her? No, you really can’t. The fact that she wants to go says enough. A long time ago I had my then-girlfriend bring it up as well. She wanted to go to Ibiza for two weeks, with her friends (all single girls, about 4 of them slutty). All I said was “You’re a big girl, you can decide for yourself”. We had been together for 3 years. Ibiza is definately a debauchery destination and she knew how I thought about travelling without your significant other. I waited to see what she was going to do, book the tickets or not? She booked the tickets about 3 weeks after, and I broke up with her the day after that.

I had another girlfriend, hot but geeky, who loved to travel to different cities in Europe (I’m from Europe as well) and visit the museums and other landmarks. I never broke up with her for that reason. Why? Because she always asked me first if I wanted to join her, which I sometimes did. And if I didn’t want to join her, she would always ask me if she could go with her female friend who was also in a relationship and not a slut. They did go out for drinks every other day or so, but they didn’t get wasted drunk, they never did. Like never in their lifetime. It was also 5 days maximum and NEVER to big party destinations.

Now the last ex-girlfriend who wanted to travel brought it like this. I had no idea they had plans or anything, one day while driving to the cinema she says “I’m going to Cancun with <list of slutty single friends>”.I answered “When, and for how long?” and she replied “End of next week for 12 days”. This girl was easily a 9 but already got blackout drunk once, huge red flag so my eyes are open so to speak. When she dropped this bomb on me all I could say was “Oh okay”. We went to see the movie, and when I brought her home I said “When are you free to come over to my house?”. She gave me some day and I said “Good, bring a box for your stuff” and I broke up with her right there.

In my opinion breaking up is the best decision but can be hard if there are kids/mortgage/marriage involved. Still, I would end it in most situations. And yes, you’re going to be called insecure or controlling by them but that’s a load of shit. They know what they’re doing, and a mentally healthy girl in love with you wouldn’t even think of travelling without you because she wants you there, to share the experience.