You want first date sex? Take care of comfort and logistics

I don’t use Tinder a whole lot anymore, it takes too much of my time to set up a date that way. Maybe because I’m not good at text-game when I have no idea what kind of person is on the other side. You can’t see her body language or hear her tonality, it’s just plain text.

In real life I’m more like a wolf, I see how she reacts to me and the things I say and do, so I can hit the right buttons while ignoring the stuff that doesn’t work on her.

Having said that, I have used Tinder a lot in the past, but my number to date ratio is much better from cold approaches.

Now, most of my buddies are in relationships, kids and everything. But they continue to live the single life a little bit through me. And than there is my cousin who I helped become who he is today, ladies-wise. And one of the things I’ve been asked a lot lately is “How do you get them to have sex on the first date?”. They ask it like it’s some kind of holy grail but it really needs just two ingredients, three if you count having game, but I assume you do.



The first ingredient is logistics. Let me explain my situation. I live in a small city close to the capital, about 30 minutes by car. I found out the hard way that 30 minutes is too much to take a girl back to your place so I had to find something closer.

In my city there is one small boulevard with some shops, restaurants and bars. Nothing huge, like 3 restaurants and two bars. I don’t do restaurants for first dates so all we have left is the bars. Oh, and a little icecream shop, bitches love icecream. Distance from my home to the bar is less than 5 minutes by car. Perfect.


I’ll be straight up with you, girls on a first “just drinks” date generally don’t plan on going home with you. The ratio is better when you met her on Tinder, but my approach works for cold approaches as well. Once upon a time, long long ago I too thought this was the holy grail. And once I figured it out it felt like I got my “True player” diploma.

Now for a moment, imagine you’re a girl. Who would you feel more comfortable to go home with:

  1. The guy you just met off Tinder/the mall and are just having a casual drink with
  2. The guy you just met off Tinder/the mall and are just having a casual drink with, and have seen his home already.
  3. Channing Tatum

You picked option 3 didn’t you? I bet he has to keep girls away with a stick or he’d drown in pussy.

It ain't easy being Channing Tatum

It ain’t easy being Channing Tatum

The serious answer is ofcourse number 2. But how do you do it? How can a girl see your home, before the first date? It’s easier then I ever thought it could be. I’ll explain with a text message, this is how it usually goes for me. I’ll start the conversation after you already established you’re meeting up for drinks.

*couple days before date

<me> Which days work for you?
<girl> I’m free wednesday night
<me> Meet me at 8 at my address, we’ll drive there together
<girl> okay / see you then / whatever

The point is have her meet you at your place. I always do this, even if they don’t drive, but public transportation is good here.

*Wednesday 8 pm

<me> Ring the bell when you get here, not ready yet
<girl> *no respons* usually

Now you can just wait for her to be at your doorstep. When I’m ‘not ready yet‘ I’m always ready, I just don’t have my shoes on. The point is to get her in. When she rings the bell let her in, show her around your place, every room but especially the living room and the bedroom. This is important! Any place where you will escalate later on, she has to see. I always show my entire home, bathrooms and everything.

Another important part is DON’T ESCALATE unless she gives you mad kino like touching you constantly, mad fuck-me eyes, she sits/lies down on her own initiative. In that case you can escalate and save yourself some bucks. In all other cases, don’t escalate, just make small talk, show her around the house, put on your shoes and tell her ‘let’s go’. You drive.

Take her to the bar / icecream shop and it’s game on from that point. Keep escalating, you should know how that works, and I will write an article about it later, but it’s too long for now. Be the fun but mysterious guy who isn’t scared to touch her, if she likes your touch, touch her somewhere more intimate and continue doing that. Go in for the kiss if you feel she’s ready.

Now it’s time to wrap it up, take her home, and go for the kill. Just tell her ‘let’s go’ again, do it at a high point, not when conversation starts lacking. So don’t wait too long. My dates are usually around 30-40 minutes before we go back. You drove there together, you did use your car right? So you drive back to your place, continue being playful, touch her leg while driving and when you get home you both get out. That’s why you drive, so she has to get out.

Now there are again two options to get her in

  1. Get out, wait for her to get out as well and start walking towards your home, don’t say a word and she’s likely to follow.
  2. Tell her to grab one last drink inside

What you choose depends on the girl. I usually do number one , I get out of the car, wait for her to get out, and walk to my home with an attitude of ‘of course you’re coming back in with me’. If she’s not following you, having doubts, you can move on to option 2 and say ‘Let’s grab one last drink’.

The fact that it’s the ‘last‘ drink lowers her defenses, there’s a time limit basically. Plus she has already seen your home, she got to know you, why wouldn’t she come inside, right?

Once inside, grab her a drink, sit next to her, put on some netflix (anything, don’t ask her what she wants to see), and continue escalating to sex. Keep in mind, when she comes back home with you after the date, and you can’t get her to have to sex, your game is weak or you’re afraid to escalate. The moment she gets in, she knows what’s going to happen.

And that is how I do it. There may be instances where the girl doesn’t want to have sex, and it’s usually that’s she’s on her period, has ugly underwear on, or didn’t shave. Don’t let it faze you, she’ll probably blow you.



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